Unconscious Reality

satans-fabulous-blog:

morphingly:

brightredkettle:

are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes

with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks

That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.

When you were younger and a friend came round

sodamnrelatable:

The awkward first half hour of politeness:

The next couple of hours:

When their parents came to collect them:

“HIDE! HIDE! THEY CAN’T TAKE YOU IF THEY CAN’T FIND YOU! IN MY ROOM! THEY WILL NEVER FIND YOU THERE! HIDE NIGGA HIDE! THIS IS A MATTER OF LIFE OR DEATH!”

 

bm13:

salmiakkivodka:

If dudes are expected to have a lot of sex

But ladies are expected to stay virgins until marriage

But homosexuality is bad

I’m really confused who dudes are supposed to be having all that sex with

Since there’re so many songs talking about having sex with bitches and hoes, I just assumed they meant female dogs and gardening tools

ghosteh13:

voice-of-tartarus:

demeaniac:

what if with our first clot of air when we are born we inhale a soul, and every time we breathe out, we squeeze a tiny part of our souls out. would our final breath actually be the very last soul fragment leaving our bodies?

Woah woah wait 

you know those things that say “you become like the 5 people you hang out with the most”

that would explain why, because you would actually be inhaling little parts of them over time

Oh my god

pippa6100:

I can’t believe Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome, bought tumblr